All we need to do is wave!

Everyone,
This is James Huffer. I met James this afternoon on the corner of West Temple and North Temple, hunched over, carrying his sign that read, "You have a thousand reasons to smile today".
I couldn't help but smile. I was sitting in my car waiting at a red light. I was leaving Temple Square after watching the new episodes of "Meet the Mormons".
My heart always goes out to the homeless. Maybe it's because I know there is not much that I nor anyone can do to help their situation except maybe wave at them and possibly offer a snack or money. But what if doing those simple things actually holds more power than we realize? What if it is the accumulation of many people working together to help make those like James feel human and appreciated again?
I tend to watch closely those I see on the streets. Not to scrutinize or mock, but to observe how they live. For me I believe the smallest act of service I can give someone, anyone, is to acknowledge their existence.
As I am sitting there in my car, patiently waiting for the light to turn green, I feel compelled to stop and talk with him. I don't know why. What good could I offer him? I knew I did not have anything to give him. How awkward would it be to stop and introduce myself only to leave him with nothing in the end? I made it about six blocks back home before I was so overcome, I spent the next ten minutes trying to find a place to buy a quick snack and drink. That was a lot harder than I thought. Everyplace I came to was closed. Despite the fact I was still empty handed, I made my way back to the conference center parking structure. I parked my car, made my way to the elevator, still trying to decide if all this effort was going to be worth it for him or myself in the end. Then I remembered I had a granola bar and bottle of water in my car. I jumped back out of the elevator and raced to grab the items. My heart was pounding (mostly because I was out of breath running in heels and a dress) but also because I was nervous! When I finally made it back outside, I realized I should have grabbed my umbrella. The clouds were flirting with the idea of raining all day. But no way was I going to walk all the way back to my car. I could deal. And I did. The moment I made eye contact with James and quickly introduced myself, the rain came tumbling down. Like hard. It actually kind of hurt a little. And to think I thought this was going to be awkward. Here I was talking to a strange man, on the corner with many spectators, in the middle of a down pour. It was actually an incredible experience.
I gave him my granola bar and water bottle I worked so hard to get him and asked him what his story was. He said when he was younger he got into a lot of trouble and since then, has not been able to find work. He said he was always looking for a job but the moment the company found out about his history, they apologize and explain they are "going in a new direction". Whatever that means. I personally loathe that statement. I have been the recipient too many times this last year of said words.
I asked him if there was anything he wish people knew about him or about being homeless. He humbly admitted that he wish people would just wave back at him.
This touched me. We shared a few more words and then I left. I could not stop thinking about his wish. Why, out of all the things he could want, he wants people to wave back at him? I believe, after talking with him, he understands the only way for him to get out of his situation is for him to make it happen. I also believe understands the important role we can have on him and other like him.
 You and I carry the precious gift of hope with us every where we go. I believe this hope comes from Jesus Christ. I am constantly wondering what my purpose on earth is. There are 7 billion people on earth and I have a very significant purpose, as do you. I wish I could go back and ask James what he thinks his purpose is. What makes him keep going? I believe that we can help people like James find their purpose. And I believe we can do that by "waving back". Acknowledge them and their presence. Imagine if every wave, "hello", conversation, or prayer James gets, it adds to his jar of hope. One day, he is going to realize his jar is full and will feel compelled to take action. To do something to show his gratitude for what others have shown him. I honestly believe this. I know this won't work for every person needing hope in their lives, but what if it does work for someone? How cool is that?!
It is my hope that we each try a little harder to be a little better, not only for the success of our own lives, but for those among us. If you ever feel compelled to do something for someone, just do it! A friend of mine once said, "It's NEVER a bad idea to do something good".

"We grow closer to the Savior as we, out of pure love, serve others for Him".
                            -President Eyring

Life isn't fair.

I drive to Park City everyday for work. The rains have been a constant companion the last month and a half helping to make the scenery throughout the canyon even more magnificent. I have never seen mountains as green or as luscious as they are right now. Acres of yellow wildflowers are in bloom on every hillside and mountain top creating beautiful contrast against the blue skies and green mountainside.
Like most people, I have received many moments of inspiration while taking in the overwhelming beauty nature offers. It has been during these drives to and from work I have learned to enjoy life again. Many moments filled with thankfulness and gratitude.
I think the greatest lesson I learned this year is that life is unfair. 
Growing up it's something many of us can remember hearing our parents tell us often. "Life isn't fair. Get used to it". 
I believe they were right. But not for the same reasons. Life is not fair. Think of the time you may have cheated on a school test but got away with it. Maybe even passed. Or all those times you rationalized speeding on the road but you were never pulled over. Maybe you have said a few choice words to a good friend or a family member but you worked through those differences and your relationship is now stronger than before. Maybe you are a hard- working single parent who can barely make ends meet. But they always seem to meet.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I like to think the reason for this is because of the atonement of Jesus Christ. Nothing is permanent during this earth life. Circumstances can change. And better yet, people can change. 
The Savior suffered the most harrowing pain ever experienced by man. Non of which He deserved. He was homeless and friendless. His life was truly unfair. But because He loves us He CHOSE to die not only for our sins but for our weaknesses, sicknesses, and failures. The consequence of His choice is that we don't have to suffer as He did. 
  I have realized if life were really fair, it would not be what we think. 
The hard truth is that we make choices. The life you have now is due to a progressive series of choices YOU have made. It may be easy to blame others for your situation, but ultimately, it is your doing. In the year and a half I have been in Utah, I have felt like a product of circumstance. I felt forced to make decisions I did not feel ready to make. As if the choice to chose was taken from me. I could not see at the time, but the Lord was offering me a different road; a road I would eventually love. Every choice you and I make yields a consequence that is equal to the choice made. Some consequences we experience are positive while others are negative. Without the atonement of Christ, we could not have hope for a better future. Without the atonement of Christ, the life you are currently experiencing will never change. If you live a life of luxury, your pride can make you blind to your weaknesses. You cannot see how much more you can grow as a person. You become stagnant. If you live a destitute life, you cannot have the hope to keep trying. Your only choice would be to give up.  
Because of the atonement, we have been given an infinite amount of do-overs. 
My last blog post was over a year ago. I have been waiting for things to turn around in a way worth talking about. I want to be able to write and share that things do get better with persistence and faith. But here I am in the same situation I have been in since the beginning.
The biggest motivator for me when I made the choice to move to Utah was I wanted to face new challenges. I became too complacent and content where I was in life. Sometimes I feel I should buy a lottery ticket because I hit the jackpot with receiving new challenges.
I have fallen into the mindset of a very pessimistic, faithless, hopeless person who has less and less energy and desire to keep on trying. Every effort has been accompanied with a failure. I could go into detail of the events of the last year and a half, but I will spare you. I understand very well that not one human being can be immune to a challenging life. And there are many people whose lives I am grateful I don't have. However, knowing this does not ease the pain of feeling like a failure. 
I used to wonder why God allows good people to suffer as much as they do. In the church are we not taught if you keep the faith and have hope then all will be well?  Are we not also taught that if you make a good choice, then good consequences will follow? Unfortunately not all of life is this black or white. For a lot of people, all they ever do is their best but still come short of success. The second greatest lesson I am still learning is that you obey the commandments not because you are promised blessings, but because you love the Savior.  So, doing good is not a free ride to a happy, successful life. In fact, I believe it offers just the opposite.
When things first started to look real dim for me, I turned to the scriptures. I was house-sitting one weekend and found myself alone with my thoughts. I was overcome with fear and pressure. I didn't know what I should do to calm myself. I guess it was out of instinct, but I grabbed my Book of Mormon and said a little prayer before I started reading. Heavenly Father definitely heard my prayer and knew exactly what I needed to help me move on. I was reading in the book of Mosiah, the 23rd chapter. I read verses 21-22 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember this being the first time the Lord whispered to me that the fears I have will not go away easily. That it is meant for me to experience these trials right now so I can improve myself. It reads, 
"Nevertheless, the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless-whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people".
To me, this scripture is talking about the love the Lord has for us. The Lord chastens those He loves so we can have the opportunity to make difficult but correct choices that will ultimately make us more like Him. The Lord loves those who obey His commandments. So the reason bad things always happen to good people? Simple. The Lord loves us. That is why He allows it to happen. 
I had grand visions of myself living a life of luxury. The plan I made for myself was brilliant. Not one part of that plan has come true. I have learned it is because the Lord knew it was not perfect and slowly but surely and very painfully, He is helping me to perfect my plan. 
I am also gaining a real testimony of the purpose of this life. It is meant for me and for you to combat Satan in his many forms and varieties. Whether it be through addictions, cancer, abuse, self inadequacy, mental issues, or any other temptations you can think of. Mosiah 23:21-22 reminds me that the Lord has so much trust in me to make the correct choices in behavior and action that He allows for me to suffer. 
There is so much more that can be added to this, but I wanted to testify to you that everything about life is because of the atonement. We experience trials so we can rely on the Savior and His atoning sacrifice to help us change. We are allowed to experience real happiness and love right now through forgiveness because the Savior died for our sins. 
Life isn't fair. And that is because of the atonement.